H
ow To Make Your Sex Life Even Better


Several years ago I came across an interesting little book called How to Satisfy A Woman Every Time and Have Her Beg for More. This book has sold 2.6 million copies, and yet it is only a slim volume but does it really tell men everything they needed to know about satisfying a woman?

As you may expect, I had to buy the book to find out! The author starts, perhaps controversially, by making the explicit statement that you cannot have sex which involves physical, mental, emotional and spiritual ecstasy unless it's between two people who love each other.

Truth is, satisfaction n any relationship always begins at the same place - in bed. Of course, you can be "just good friends", and that's very rewarding, but if you want true satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, that is, and true pleasure, then the best way to get it is to learn about some good sexual techniques from the experts. You can get sexual satisfaction here - or, rather, you can find out how to get it, with a rather amazing load of sexual tips, hints and tricks!

Back to the book, anyway. Her starting point is that lots of women fake orgasms and that everyone is missing out in a relationship where this happens because a woman being pleasured to the depths of her soul, and a woman taking pleasure, are, she rightly says, two completely different women.

The author, Naura Hayden, also makes the point, which I completely agree with, that a man's pleasure in sex is magnified tremendously when he has a partner who is giving and receiving "the same orgasmic joys, the same explosions of ecstasy, the same expanding of self that carries her to the same far reaches of the universe to which he travels."

Besides which, she rightly observes, a man who takes time and trouble to give a woman orgasms is a man who will be loved by the woman he loves.....

Laci Green - On Orgasms

And of course in writing about her research on women in which she found that the vast majority of women faked orgasms, she touches on one of the most important aspects of all relationships: the extent to which we are authentic and honest with each other, and the extent to which we invest in giving each other sexual pleasure.

It seems incredible that even now, in the days when we've been exposed to sexual material in every corner and quarter of our lives, particularly from the Internet, that women can still be faking orgasm because they're too embarrassed to discuss the situation with their partners.

If this really does represent the reality of women's sex lives, then no wonder that relationships don't last after all, without reward for sexual activity, a reward of orgasm, sex becomes something pale and insignificant. And furthermore, a man at some level of his being probably knows whether a woman is faking orgasm or not, and to be honest, if she is, she must be a pretty dull sex partner which leads to sexual boredom and "turnoff", which in turn leads to the real temptation of getting excitement and thrill from any other woman who is willing to provide more interesting sex.

Yet the question is really why a woman in such situation has allowed herself to become so bored and unsatisfied the truth is that sex only gets boring when one of the partners is not enjoying it.

The critical point, I think, that Nuara is trying to make is that sex is a partnership, where skill and dedication to the satisfaction and pleasure of your partner are vitally important to produce mutual happiness and satisfaction during sex.

No matter how dramatic the descriptions of orgasms might be in literature, and no matter how frantic women might act out orgasms when they're in porn movies, the truth is that if a couple who are in love dedicate the time to find out which sexual techniques and positions will truly satisfy their partner, their sex life will take off like a rocket.

There are several reasons why a woman might not tell a man that she is acting or rather, faking orgasm first of all she loves him and really cares for him and she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. Indeed, she probably wants him to feel good about himself. But faking orgasm to do this is making him feel good at her expense.

Then she might regard herself as being at fault, because perhaps she's frigid or somehow deficient in that department? Of course very few women are in fact sexually deficient they may not have experienced orgasm yet, but they certainly can learn to do so with very little effort.

However, try telling that to woman is not experiencing orgasms she probably thinks it's her fault that things the way they are, and she doesn't know what to do about it.

And really, women have a lot to complain about when men make love to them ineptly.

Naura recounts the story of how she puts out her left arm and hits it with her right fist for about 30 seconds to demonstrate the pain and discomfort the women go through when men start "banging" them.

Now we all know that porn represents sex in a way that has very little to do with our love lives so don't fall for the illusions that you see presented on the Internet: they are, in fact, just that illusions.

The other thing that women may not understand is how amazingly powerful female orgasm can be, if it's generated from stimulation of both the clitoris and the G spot within the vagina.

It's certainly true that most of us have a great deal of exploration and discovery to make in the world of sexual interaction. For example, how many men know that there is a direct line from a woman's nipples to her clitoris, and that gently teasing her nipples will drive her to clip absolutely wild with desire?

These are things that a woman isn't likely to tell you, but somehow expects a man to know, at least if he wants to be regarded as a good lover.

Did you also know, for example, that the more gently you suck on a woman's nipple, the more excited her clitoris is going to become?

Techniques like this allow you - the man - to demonstrate to a woman that you're actually in control. But don't think that means you can enter her after a bit of foreplay.....In fact, it's appropriate that a woman tells you when she's ready for you to enter her by making her desire to be penetrated abundantly clear.

The art of being a great lover, as a man, is building massive desire in a woman so strong that she will be begging you to put your penis into her and at that point of course you are now totally in charge, of both your own sexuality and of hers.

Teasing her until she begs you to put it in gets her more and more aroused, and is much more powerful and erotic than simply entering her the moment she's wet enough and thrusting away till you ejaculate.

So when you've got the woman begging you to put it inside her, are you going to do that? No.

In fact what you can do to tease her even more is to put your penis inside her by half an inch and pull it out. Then put it in half an inch and pull it out and as you repeatedly do this, she's going to be going really crazy with desire. And who knows, you might be going really crazy with a sense of your male power!

The next step is to actually enter her a little more perhaps push in an inch, or an inch and a half, and then very slowly pull out. Just keep teasing her like this by working up to putting in almost the full length of your penis, slowly withdrawing it, and then gently pushing it in again and .... out again and in again and out again... well, you get the idea.

But never go all the way in till she is ready to come. As you do this, you'll feel her getting more and more turned on, and this in turn will get you more and more aroused, because you're not only teasing her, but you're teasing yourself too and there's very little that excites a man as much as a really turned-on woman!

Bear in mind this stimulation of her G spot may even make her female ejaculate when she orgasms.....

Yet you are still completely and utterly in control of the situation, demonstrating your male power, and your ability to torture her with this sweet teasing. This allows her to surrender to your male power, surrender to the one she loves.

And now, at the point where she's begging you so desperately to penetrate her, you just keep going - a little bit deeper before you come out again slowly - and you keep that up until her body begins to quiver with excitement and you, of course, will continue to keep thrusting in and out until she has an orgasm that rocks her entire body. Then you can push deep into her.....

The reason this works so well is because you are stimulating the G spot within her vagina, which is much more sensitive to sexual stimulation than any other part of her body except possibly her clitoris and urethral meatus.

And interestingly enough, you'll become so excited by her first orgasmic explosion that you won't be able to withstand having your own orgasm. And what you'll certainly discover in the moment of explosion is that it's the most powerful and deepest orgasm you've ever experienced. And probably the most satisfying as well.

And bear in mind something else too - that if you can actually keep teasing her with your erection in this way she could have two or three orgasms before you have your first. This is certainly a wonderful argument for learning how to last longer in bed.

Sex advice for lovers - how to improve your sex life and get the best orgasms possible ]

Communication during sex ] How to make your sex life even better - Stopping premature ejaculation ] How to make your sex life even better - Sensitivity exploring exercises in sex ] Anorgasmia and erectile dysfunction ] Manifestation ] Sex Advice For Lovers ] Women and orgasm ] Making Sex Better ] General advice on how to make sex better ] History of socio-sexual context ] [ How To Make A Woman Come Hard ]