How To Make Your Sex Life Even Better
Updated September 25, 2016
The Orgasm Gap
One of the big topics that's recently arisen as a widespread subject of debate on the Internet is the so-called orgasm gap between men and women. What this essentially means of course is that men have far more orgasms than women do, and it would seem that women are not too happy about it.
Indeed, it's become a feminist position – in other words, the question is why women not entitled to sexual equality with men in every area, including the opportunity to indulge in casual sex, and the opportunity to enjoy orgasms when they do so.
Sure, there are many possible reasons for that, and even when sex is OK, adequate, or even reasonable, women can be left feeling very unsettled because they're not experiencing orgasm.
The essence of the problem of course is that sex is usually over once men have ejaculated – and generally speaking, particularly in casual sex, they don't make much effort to ensure that the woman reaches orgasm before they do.
In other words, once a man has become erect, penetrated a woman, and ejaculated, sex is over. Naturally enough, this becomes a feminist position: it's a manifestation of the patriarchy at every level, a manifestation of how men look at women, and in particular a manifestation of how women behave in a situation where men take patriarchal beliefs for granted.
Even consensual sex within a relationship doesn't necessarily carry the flavor of equality. In general, men have far more orgasms than women do.
And of course orgasms are fun, and everybody wants an orgasm during sex – but it's a lot easier for man to achieve an orgasm during sex than a woman, and in general, the structure of sex as we conventionally experience it is all about male pleasure, not female pleasure.
Indeed, you can see this in the fact that the male orgasm is generally regarded as the defining factor, if not actually the most important factor, in male-female sex.
Essentially couples f*ck until a man comes. Then sex stops.
There are several possible explanations why there is an orgasm gap including the simple fact that it's easier for men to reach orgasm, to come, than women. And of course that's true, but sex does not have to be like that. Sex can be a process that does not depend on male pleasure and finish when the man has enjoyed his pleasurable orgasm.
What this requires is a change of attitude amongst men, a kind of shift of thinking, so that the woman's pleasure is just as important as the man's pleasure, and that he's actually willing to provide it.
What this means of course is being interested in your partner, being creative about sex, and caring about sexual equality.
Women discuss penis size
One of the most fascinating questions on the Internet is the issue of sexual compatibility between men and women in that particularly sensitive area for men – of course, I'm referring to penis size.
Throughout the history of the Internet penis size been a subject of great interest to men and women alike, and it's been clear that one of the defining factors in articles on penis size is the line "as long as you are large enough to penetrate a woman and give her pleasure, you are big enough".
There's something really rather patriarchal about this, in the fact that it does not even consider what women want. Clearly popular articles about whether women care about penis size are mostly designed to reassure men that even if they are small, in the Size Department, they are still good enough as men.
And we know this is true, because women do have relationships based on many factors other than penis size (obviously) – how about sensitivity, caring, love, respect, trust, wealth, ability to support, and so on and so on and so. Even so, the question remains, does penis size play out in mate selection? Do small men have to make do with the women left after well, to put it bluntly, the decent sized men have been taken?
BUT! When we talk about penis size being big enough to satisfy a woman or give her pleasure, what we're not taking into account is whether or not the woman has a loose vagina which would be hard to satisfy with anything other than an Olympian penis. Male insecurity of course plays directly into this – if women say that only a big penis will satisfy them, while not referring to the size of their own vagina, then of course men make the assumption a big penis is needed to satisfy every woman.
Furthermore, the fact that about 90% of women who chose to answer the question said they preferred a wide penis to a long one does indeed suggest that girth is most important in giving a woman a sense of pleasure during intercourse.
Now it's certainly true that most data does suggest that penis size is actually way down the list priorities for men, but it certainly is a priority for many men!
So let's be realistic about this. Childbirth is what stretches the vagina – many women can affirm how important it is for women's sexual satisfaction when the pre-childbirth state is restored by surgery.
This could be important for women who wish to achieve orgasm during intercourse, because male thrusting stimulates the G spot and can even produce gushing orgasms during intercourse. Not all women will want to enjoy female ejaculation, I know, but almost all women will want to enjoy sexual satisfaction during lovemaking. You can read much more about this on this website - see the menu below.